Saturday, July 28, 2007
i think i'll get the emo fever soon too.
bah
strummed the guitar at 7/28/2007 06:15:00 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
ok..
shown my parents ONE of my many horrendous CT papers
physics
hmm its like my, erm, 3rd best subj?
and they were like damn pissed
so i'm kinda dreading their reaction to the other papers..
but like
after they made lots of noise right
they like damn nice to me
my mum cooked breakfast 4 me as usual
i somehow woke up too early then my mum said that its not even 5, go back 2 sleep!
and i think i remember her putting the blanket over me
shit i feel damn bad
-
and what makes me feel worse is that i have this feeling i'm gonna dissapoint them yet again
shucks.
-
that aside
yday had h3 econs
after h3 econs
sat down a while with ma and syim
then somebody came along
told us something, erm, scandalous, as people like her would put it
about a particular friend of mine
in relation to another particular friend of mine
hmm
the former actually told me something related to what that person told us
and like
its quittteeee different from what that person told us
ok can match
but my friend was most probably quouted out of context..?
yeah knowing how scandals get hyped up and distorted sometimes
i'd give my friend the benefit of the doubt
lol hope nothing bad happens.
-
and speaking of my latter friend
i think some of my words got misinterpreted
as in that friend might have thought i was implying something or hoping 4 something
but i wasnt
i meant something else
ah wellz
do work do work do work!
strummed the guitar at 7/24/2007 09:09:00 PM
Saturday, July 21, 2007
meh a lot of ppl are getting upset/emo nowadays
what happened to world peace?
strummed the guitar at 7/21/2007 11:06:00 PM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
am in need of inspiration!
alterbridge is nice.
that's one of their more emo songs
called In Loving Memory.
nice.
strummed the guitar at 7/18/2007 10:39:00 PM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
i screwed up like some shit today.
was my worst playing ever ah ever since the 1st jamming session.
ok fine maybe 2nd. coz 1st time was superrrr bad.
but still.
damn i could have done better.
sorry Berny Linky Li Ying and Ari.
i'll make up for it.
somehow.
but it's been nice playing with all of ya.
strummed the guitar at 7/15/2007 11:18:00 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
meh i've grown quite bitter the past couple of days
but like yeah i nvr show it ah
but like whenever i'm alone my mind will start drifting away
heck
even when im not alone, my mind will drift
like that time i went j8 w ari
was happy2
then while walking down a flight of escalator
my mind started drifting
and like even when playing xbox
and talking 2 ari
my mind was like thinking of like really faraway and bitter stuff
and its like the same stuff over and over again
-
its like even despite me trying 2 tell myself
to appreciate what i have
and just fuck care what i dont
just cant help it ah
-
yday or 2 nights ago
watched this show on Suria called Ibu
some documentary series thingey ah
then it was this episode about this woman
who gave birth to an ordinary son
but like 4 some reason when he was 4 mths old
his brain got some haemorrhage
then like he got severely handicapped or something
and he cant walk, talk or anything
he can barely move
the doctor gave the parents a choice
to like keep him or end his life
but the parents was like
if God really wants to take him away, He would have already done so
but since Aslan(the boy's name) still wants to continue fighting,
they'll help him and take care of him and be there for him
and like so when he was 9 mths old or something
the mother quit her work as an architect
to become a full-time housewife and take care of her son
and she was only 28 then!
-
i almost cried when i watched it
well no, i actually did shed a tear
and i felt like just hugging my dad who happened to be seating next to me at that time
but like i didn't want my parents to worry that i'll go into depression or something
so far i've pretended i never cared about such issues
so yeah i managed 2 stop myself from crying
somehow my dad didn't notice me crying
or maybe he pretended not to notice and was waiting 4 me to come to him..?
-
shit man
that mum was an architect
she had a degree
a career
she even moved from kelantan down to singapore to work
she had so much to lose
yet she just dropped them
so she could take care of her sick son.
but some people...
-
met her at my grandma's on sunday
and she didn't even wish me happy belated birthday
what kind of MOTHER doesnt wish her son happy birthday??
even my bro who's like worrying abt his wife who's going into labour soon
wished me happy birthday
and even my sisters smsed while at their work places
gah nvm..
-
maybe labour is not as painful as it seems
if it is, why do some mothers throw away their children so easily?
~
damn i wish i had a normal life
so i can be free to emo about other things
its damn tiring emoing and angsting about the same thing over and over again
like a nightmare on loop.
strummed the guitar at 7/12/2007 10:33:00 PM
Saturday, July 07, 2007
fuck it
really
just fuck it
i thought this year's gonna be like special
but its like
fuck man
-
what did i do today?
woke up
realised that my mum didn't catch the bit about me saying that farewell's at east coast
or rather, as my mum would put it
'i didn't tell her'
so yeah i didn't go
anw i initially wasn't keen on going
coz i thought that if i go
then later i would be too tired to go out at night
was expecting to go out at night
was hoping
but
fuck
and like some family issues really piss me off
extended family problem
shit man
even last year was a better year for me.
-
live earth?
8 concerts in 8 continents?
2 billion viewers?
would help better if those 2 billion people turn off their TVs
and go do some recycling shit
or pick up some rubbish
or plant a tree
would've made a real difference.
-
fuck world peace.
strummed the guitar at 7/07/2007 08:36:00 PM
Monday, July 02, 2007
shit i wrote a comment for a friend of mine on friendster
but friendster somehow refuses to accept it
as in cant submit
basket
-
anw madrasah
hmm made HAA YES I CAN SUBMIT THE COMMENT ALEADY!!
lol i was smart enought 2 copy paste
hah! taufiq=genius!
-
ok anw madrasah
made me think a lot actually
i once in a while have this thought that its kinda pointless to go to madrasah
coz like everything tested for exams
are like directly from the books
so i can mug myself at home
and a friend of mine kinda have the same idea as well
but like
i went madrasah yesterday morning
half hour late, rather usual this year
and sat through class as usual.
then like i came to realise that i'll miss out a lot if i dont go
a lot meaning things beyond whats tested in the exams
and what's explained in the books
although that, i assume, is the main point of madrasah
-
stuff beyond the books includes
the discussions
the ustaz/ustazah's explanations
the little anecdotes they tell once in a while during lessons about their life experiences
and like
the atmosphere
the friends
though i'm only like close to ramizah and firman
and like little2 stuff
like ustazah zainab(principal/firman's aunt) coming into my class to see if some particular guy came to madrasah or not
coz he's a heavy ponner
haha
and a lot of stuff!
ok this post is quite happy.
-
hmm one very impactful thing that the ustazah taught us last sun was about us and our parents
she kinda told us:
parents always put their children as first priority, but the children hardly do the same towards their parents.
like
if we tell, say, our mum we having fever or stomach ache
she'll immediately feel our forhead for our temperature
or like get panadol for us
or bring us doctor
but if like we come back home
and like our mum say she having fever
chances are we'll just ask them to take panadol
or something
ok its just a generalisation ah
but it made me think a lot
and like i almost cried
coz you see
i'm adopted
and i havent exactly been a very nice child for the past 16 years plus
almost 17
God, please help me change.
Amin.
strummed the guitar at 7/02/2007 11:24:00 PM
